The Element of Surprise
by MerryAnchor16
Summary: Zoro/Perona friendship for Share the Love Month! Sir Zoro Roronoa has had enough of saving princesses for the prince he's started falling for. It's all the same rountine, over and over. So he was in no way prepared for a ghost summoning princess who is apparently a master thief, the biggest con he'd ever fallen for in his life, and to be kidnapped all in one day. Fantasy AU.


**AN: Here is my Share the love month piece. It is a Zoro/Perona brotp with some unrequited ZoSan thrown in there too because why not? The theme was elements and though I didn't rely on the theme heavily in my piece, see if you can spot little hints of it! I hadd great fun writing this and though it may be just a one shot for now, I really would like to continue it! Let me know what you all think! :D**

* * *

Sir Zoro Roronoa sighed heavily, his armour clunking and his chainmail rattling as he trudged up the last of the muddy track leading to the weathered castle at the top of the mound. His swords, all three hung from his right hip, clattered noisily and his feet ached in their metal covered boots. His horse had bolted a while back and he'd been left walking ever since, getting lost once or twice on the way because the damn path kept moving, and now here he was tired and miserable and really really pissed off because the stupid prince had sent him on a stupid quest to rescue a damn princess from something.

The prince in question was prince Sanji. The 'Biggest Moron to Ever Exist' prince Sanji. He sent Zoro over and over on these quests and not once had the princess ever wanted to meet him or accept his hand in marriage. He slugged through wind, rain, heat, and freezing temperatures, everything the elements could throw at him and it was embarrassing and gruelling and Zoro wanted to punch the man in the face regardless of the consequences. He and Sanji were close and it was getting tiring having to see the prince be put down again and again. Zoro didn't understand the fascination Sanji had with princesses or women in general and quite frankly it hurt when the prince found a new one to idolise because it meant Zoro was pushed away.

He didn't understand why it pained him inside to see Sanji fawning over girls but it did. Much the same way his stomach did a weird clench whenever the prince smiled at him, or the way he felt at ease around him. There were a lot of things Zoro didn't understand when it came to Sanji.

But nevertheless here he was again, about to rescue a princess again, offer her Sanji's marriage proposal again and end up going back to tell Sanji she refused. Same old routine.

He staggered up to the castle entrance, the rotting drawbridge still lowered and the gate pulled up, the pulley chain rusted into position, and drew a sword, the light catching off Kitetsu's blade with a bluish hue.

"Come on, show yourself." Zoro said in a rather bored tone as he tilted the blade in his hand. His voice echoed down the entrance tunnel, bouncing off the icy carved rock and the cobbled ground. There was no answer to his demand. Sighing, he wandered further in until he reached the courtyard, staying low with a slight bend in his knees and keeping his weapon up just in case of a surprise attack.

The courtyard was greyscale in the low light of early evening, the sun already sunk too low to bless it with fiery reds and orange, and the walls towering over his head looked black with grime and were slick with moisture, giving the impression the building was sweating heavily. He kicked a loose piece of wildly overgrown bramble away from him and took in the remarkable amount of coarse black and brown that grew tightly to the walls. This place was surely too far gone to be able to use let alone hold a captive princess. Zoro lowered his blade slightly, the place reeked of decomposing earth and it plastered its stench to the back of his throat and the roof of his mouth. He wanted to gag. Perhaps Sanji had got it wrong, surely this wasn't the lair of a-

_Thunk_.

A flash of pain erupted from the back of his skull, driving the sight out of his eyes and throwing him into darkness. He fell forward, knee guards crashing on the stone and plant life, and collapsed on his front, the wetness of the ground smearing up his face. He couldn't move, Kitetsu slipped out of his grasp.

Huh. Maybe Sanji wasn't wrong after all.

* * *

When Zoro came to, a soft yellow light radiating warmth pooled across his face. His vision was still a little hazy and out of focus but he could feel a certain loss of bulk from around his body and realised with a chill that his armour had been stripped off him, leaving him in only an undershirt and an old pair of trousers that were more patchwork than actual clothing. He linked quickly that if his armour was gone then his swords were surely gone too. Damn it. There was pressure around his head that was unfamiliar and when he managed to move his arm he felt the coarse strips of material bound around it. He was injured? But then who'd taken care of him?

"Are you okay?"

The voice, soft, hissed in his ear and caught him off guard. He sat bolt upright, "Gah, what the hell?!"

In the light of what he knew now was a candle, Zoro met two big dark eyes looking at him from beneath the strands of a pink fringe. It was a woman. He caught the flash of a tiara sat atop the gaudy pink locks. This wasn't just any woman, this was the princess Sanji had sent him to rescue. She was scowling at him and her lips were pressed in a firm line before she pouted.

"Ugh! You're so uncute!" She accused, shaking her head. She then huffed, "How are you? You got hit... On the head." She reached up and tapped Zoro's bandages.

The knight blinked, not sure how to respond to her sudden outburst of his inability to be cute, "Are you the princess?" He asked dumbly.

He received a sharp flick on the cheek in response, "Oi! I asked if you were okay! Uncute _and_ rude!"

Zoro felt his patience wearing thin already, the woman's fairly high pitched voice grating at him and brushing him up the wrong way. He snapped, "Yeah, I'm fine!"

She harrumphed before her eyes softened slightly and she felt Zoro's bandages before looking him in the eyes, "Good. You took a pretty hard knock."

The knight snatched his head away, regretting it in the way his vision blurred and the room liquified. He swatted her hand, "I'm fine. I've had worse."

She sighed, obviously giving in to his stubborness and sat back against the cold and slick floor. The waxy candle light cast her body into his view and Zoro took the chance to actually see her properly. She was pretty, her round face framed by ringlets of pink hair pulled up into pigtails and her silver grey tiara perched above her full fringe. She wore a dress that surprisingly seemed ill fitting and was pink in its material, white lace decorating around her neck and arms and it was shredded at the bottom as though she'd ripped it herself into strips. Zoro was willing to wager anything that the bandages around his head were bright pink. He decided he'd best introduce himself.

"I'm Sir Zoro Roronoa of All Blue. Knight of the Prince Sanji Blackleg of All Blue." He sighed, "I'm here to save you from your captor and to ask for your hand in marrying the prince."

The princess looked at him and blinked. Slowly, a smile crept onto her face and she laughed, the sound haunting and hollow, "Horohorohoro!" She sniggered a few times before managing to calm down and she looked at him, "I'm Princess Perona of the Ghost Kingdom and I kindly refuse your prince's offer."

Zoro shrugged, "I told him you were going to say that."

Perona frowned, "You did?"

"Yeah..." He trailed off, "Doesn't matter though, the offer of rescuing you still stands."

At that she smiled, "Good! We can use my plan!"

The knight halted. She had a plan? Her own plan? None of the princesses had ever had plans. "_Your_ plan?"

Perona laughed again, "Horohorohoro! Did you think I'd actually get caught by that man? No no, I got caught on _purpose_!"

Zoro sputtered, "_What_?!"

"Ah! Shut up! He'll hear you!" The pink haired princess screeched, slamming a hand firmly over his mouth, "Uncute!"

Zoro pulled her hand away from him, not impressed by her complete disregard for his personal space, and hissed keeping his voice lower. As much as he hated to admit it, she did have a point. They didn't want the enemy listening in if they were planning an escape. "Who is he?"

"An elemental user who favours fire. I don't know his name, that's not what I was sent here for. But it's surprising, you know? Normally the fire elementals are nice guys, I know a couple myself. They're pretty cute too."

He shook his head, "A fire elemental? We don't have the weapons to fight against that or any of his other element powers. How are we going to get past him? I don't even have my armour or swords."

Perona smiled brightly, "Leave that to me! He's a pretty arrogant guy from what I made out when he brought me here and I can use that against him."

"You can? How?"

She held her head up a little higher, proud, and announced, "I am Princess Perona of the Ghost Kingdom! I am the Ghost Princess! Perhaps you've heard of me?"

Zoro shrugged, "Name doesn't ring a bell."

"Augh! Uncute!" She squealed and smacked him hard in the arm, pouting at him as she did so.

The knight rubbed the already forming bruise, "Stop hitting me, damn it!"

"You're a brute! I thought knights were supposed to be romantic!"

"Yeah, well I ain't a typical knight!"

"Agh!" Perona exclaimed and finally gave up. She got to her feet, scuffling on the stone floor, and began to push her dress down from off her body and Zoro felt his face heat up from embarrassment.

"Oi! What d'you think you're doing?!"

"Being practical, what did you think I was-" She turned away from him and scowled at the knight from over her shoulder, "Creep..."

She wriggled out of the folds of gaudy pink fabric and lace and Zoro realised that he needn't have been so worried that someone was stripping naked in front of him when he noticed the tough banded leather and metal plates of armour being revealed bit by bit. The pink haired princess stripped the dress off from around her hips and stepped out of it and it suddenly dawned on the knight exactly why the dress had been so badly fitted on her body as he took in the pouches around her belt, the small scabbard homing a dagger, the blackened chainmail and the leather bound flat boots with silver shin guards that encased the bottoms of her leather trousers. At the top of her left arm was a tattoo inked deep into the skin in a bold plum pink colour.

Noticing his surprised look Perona smiled as she pulled her hair out of the two pigtails and pulled it roughly back into a pony, banding it tight. She shrugged, "Couldn't fit on my arm guards, the sleeves of the dress were too short... Here, keep that," She whipped off the tiara and tossed it to him, Zoro catching it on instinct, "We'll need it for a distraction."

"But-but... it's your-"

"Yeah, yeah, I've got plenty more like it. That one's a fake. So uncute compared to my real one!" She pouted, "I need you to hold on to it. Now come on, get up!" She held out a hand to him but he hesitated.

"What the actual Hell is going on here? I thought I was supposed to be rescuing you?!" He exclaimed, "But you have this fancy armour and a plan and- Just what is happening?!"

"A robbery is what's happening!" Perona snapped back, "I told you that I got caught on purpose!"

"What kind of a princess gets caught on purpose?!"

"The kind that wants to steal something! Ugh you're so annoying! And so uncute!" She snatched her hand away, "I'm leaving you behind if you're not going to help! Useless!"

Zoro scrambled to his feet, wobbling at the sudden rush to his head. He rubbed at his eyes as he spoke, "I'm not letting you go anywhere by yourself!"

"Yeah, like you're going to stop me." She hummed a moment, pursing her lips, "You know what? You're back on the team. I'm going to need you... even if you are uncute. Come on!"

Zoro felt her hand grip tight around his wrist and she hauled him forward with a surprising amount of strength to the iron door on the far side of the dungeon room and rummaged around in her pouch clad belt, drawing out an old bobby pin. She let go of Zoro's arm and hunkered down, chainmail jingling, and plunged the pin into the lock. She jiggled it around, a concentrated look on her face that broke inti a satisfied smiled when the tumblers turned and gave with a hollow click.

As he stood aside and watched the remarkable display, Zoro wondered how this had happened. The denial of Sanji's marriage proposal he had been expecting, but a princess clad in armour who claimed to be working as a theif and was breaking them out was nowhere near the list of expected events he thought would play out today. Perona turned slightly and he could make out the position of one finger held over her lips in a gesture to be quiet. He nodded in agreement and watched as she opened the door softly and ever so slightly, a shaft of orange light spilling in and onto her face from the torches which no doubt lined the walls of the hallway. She looked once, twice, before opening the door fully, the iron grating on the stone floor and she pulled a face at the loud unpleasant noise.

She stepped out of the room and beckoned him to follow, "Come on. Your swords are this way," She said lowly, pointing to the right.

Zoro slipped out of the room, it was even colder out here without his armour keeping him warm and he suppressed a shiver, exchanging it for a frown, "How do you know that?"

She shrugged and began walking, "Like I said, he's an arrogant sorcerer. I mean, what kind of an idiot shows a prisoner where he keeps his valuables?" She snickered, but when Zoro didn't reply she stopped, "Zoro?"

Turning around, she saw him walking off in the wrong direction completely and chased after him, grabbing his arm and pulling him around, "Where are you going?!"

"Uh, where you said to?"

"Idiot! You're going the wrong way! How does a knight have such a bad sense of direction?"

Zoro scowled, "Shut up! It's not my fault all the paths keep changing places!"

"It's not the paths, it's _you_, idiot!"

A hint of red induced by embarrassment tinted the green haired knight's face, "Ugh, now you sound like the shitty prince..."

She rolled her eyes and took a tight hold of his hand despite his protests, "Yeah, yeah, whine about it later... You're not letting go of my hand until we're out of here." She hummed, "So you know the prince pretty well then?"

Zoro sighed, the wriggling of his hand getting him nowhere in her unforgiving grip, and gave in to it. He didn't care anymore. He was too tired for all this and his head was beginning to ache once more. He shrugged, what harm could there be in talking to her a little bit as long as he didn't give away any royal information? He shrugged as he let her lead him, "I guess. We were raised together from kids."

She nodded, "So you're good friends?"

"I suppose. We argue more than anything nowadays though."

"Why's that?"

"I'm fed up." Zoro said, "I'm tired of being sent off to try and get him a princess that'll actually marry him. Why does he even want to get married? He's got friends, he's got me... Besides, he's too young to be thinking about getting married!" Zoro felt like a weight had been dragged off his chest, one even heavier than his armour and now he'd started letting loose what had bottled up, it became difficult to stop, "He obsesses over them. It's stupid. What's so amazing about princesses? I don't get it. He's such an idiot, all he does is fawn over them and pushes the people who really matter out of the way and it's not like I can make him see sense because I tried."

"You sound like you really care about him." Perona said, peering around a corner before setting off down it with the knight in tow.

Zoro hissed, "It's not like that! I don't-"

Perona stopped and looked him in the face with an amused expression, "I never suggested it was _anything_. I just said you cared."

Zoro was halted and momentarily speechless. He started and stopped each rebuttle to that statement before settling with a glare to which she giggled at.

"Cute..." She murmured and then indicated to the door in the wall that Zoro had been too preoccupied with ranting about the shit prince to have noticed, "They're in there," She rubbed her hands together, "And so is my prize."

Zoro moved to open the door, but was halted by a hand on his chest, "Say, this Prince Sanji of yours... I get the impression he'd do anything for a close friend of his, right?"

The knight balked at the odd question and went to snap, to say that Sanji was a shitty guy, but he knew he would be lying. Sanji... he was one of the kindest, most generous people he'd ever met. He'd give everything to help anyone, regardless of who they were, and would give his life and his riches in a heartbeat if he knew he could save someone with it. He sighed, unaware of the slight smile that tugged at the corners of his mouth, "Yeah. He'd do anything."

Perona tilted her head, blinking her big eyes, "And he considers you a close friend, right?"

"Yeah, I guess... Perona, what does this have to do with-?"

"I wish I could say that I'm sorry Zoro but you're worth an awful lot to us."

"What're you-"

_"Negative~ Negative~ Negative~!"_

A high, eerie chorus of voices echoed down the hall, bouncing off the stone walls, and Zoro scrambled back as Perona's eyes misted over white and a silvery vapour formed around her hands, coiling up and around to form two roughly human shapes like ghostly apparitions. His mind scattered at the idea that she'd turned on him and he was without his swords and armour, completely defenceless.

"What're you doing?! The elemental he'll-"

"Not be coming because he's not real." Perona said calmly, the two ghosts standing diligently beside her like soldiers. She shrugged, "I'm sorry, but this was all a set up. We'd heard about you and you'll make us a lot of money." She smiled, which looked wrong with her eyes suddenly all white, "You're a cute one."

Zoro clenched his fists and raised them in defense, "I'm guessing you were the one that knocked me out and that I'm the 'prize' you came to steal?"

"You're so cute when you figure things out! Horohorohorohoro! Oh, don't worry though, your swords and your armour are all safe behind this door. I'll be sure to pick them up for you!"

"What are you-"

"Negative Hollow!"

Zoro barely had time to register the ghosts moving before he fell forward onto the floor, striking his already injured head off the stone and crumpling into unconsciousness. Perona stepped over him and into the room, eyes returning to their natural state as she picked up his swords as promised, but left the armour when she realised it would be too heavy to carry with an unconscious knight over her shoulders. She buckled the swords and belt around her hips, sitting it above her pouch belt, and hunkered down to pull the knight into a lift over her metal guarded shoulders and cringed as his mouth, open from his slackened jaw, drooled on her.

"Ugh, so uncute!"


End file.
